Happiness

Three months after Preslee died, a deep dark hole seemed to engulf me. The darkness was consuming and terrifying. My head was suddenly filled with doubts, and I truly thought I could never be happy living without my daughter. My husband grieved so differently that I felt completely alone. The comments I had heard a million times over, "Oh, but she's in a better place," began taking a toll on my mind. I began thinking if she needed to go to a better place, I had most definitely failed as her mother... Once I let just a little doubt creep in, it consumed me and that deep dark hole seemed to grow deeper every single day.

Over time, and with a lot of hard work, I'm grateful that I eventually found my way out of that hole. It was a long and slow process and I give all credit to my Savior, who carried most of the load. The lessons I learned during that time changed my view on life, and more importantly, changed my relationship with our Savior, Jesus Christ.

I love this video for so many different reasons. What I wouldn't have given to hear this back then, nearly six years ago. I wanted to share for anyone experiencing the same thing as I did, my hope is to let  you know you don't have to do it alone.

“I suppose everybody will have some kind of an experience where they say, ‘I’m never going to be happy again....Well, we are going to be happy again. That is also a part of the plan. It’s the very nature of it. Hang on and hope. Never lose faith in your Father in heaven, who loves you more than you can comprehend. Never, ever doubt his love for you. Hold fast to the Atonement. Believe in miracles. When you’ve done all you can do, endure to the end. And remember, hope is never lost.”

-Elder Holland