Read Part 1 {Here}
May 5th
In the morning, we made a quick trip Tunnels to snorkel, it’s where Bethany Hamilton lost her arm to a shark bite…but it’s a must see while staying on the island!
In the morning, we made a quick trip Tunnels to snorkel, it’s where Bethany Hamilton lost her arm to a shark bite…but it’s a must see while staying on the island!
Later that afternoon, we went Horseback riding on Bette Midler’s land. Billy Rae and I became fast friends, he would stand next to me and nuzzle right into my shoulder. It took me back to my childhood and I asked Pat for a horse. :) But the highlight of the experience was definitely watching Pat on a horse. I’m not sure why it was cracking me up, but it sure did.
May 6th
We loved Hanalei! (And a few others spots shown below) We stopped in Hanalei to eat lunch nearly every day. Bubbas, Puka Dogs, and JoJo’s were our favorites, (Let’s talk about their macadamia nut ice cream…amazing!) I thought it was incredibly sweet of the owners of Bubba’s called Heidi to see how the week was going, and asked if there was anything else they could do to help. I couldn’t believe the support we received from the people on the island.
We loved Hanalei! (And a few others spots shown below) We stopped in Hanalei to eat lunch nearly every day. Bubbas, Puka Dogs, and JoJo’s were our favorites, (Let’s talk about their macadamia nut ice cream…amazing!) I thought it was incredibly sweet of the owners of Bubba’s called Heidi to see how the week was going, and asked if there was anything else they could do to help. I couldn’t believe the support we received from the people on the island.
We gathered after dinner and Heidi gave us each a large autograph leaf and a nail. She told us to etch a message we would like to send to our child into the leaf, and in the morning the writing would turn brown and we would be able to read it. We spent the night reminiscing about our experience in Kauai, quite sad it was coming to an end.
May 7thIt was our last day in Kauai, and we flew out later that night on a red-eye. We woke up, ate breakfast and then were out the door by 9:30 with our autograph leaves in hand. We caravanned behind Heidi and pulled into a driveway and this is what we saw.
Heidi is a member of a paddling team and a few of her teammates volunteered to let us experience paddling in double hull outrigger canoe. Devin, who’s family owns the canoe’s, his dad was the one who decorated the canoes early that morning. Once again, I could not get over how generous the people are on the island of Kauai.
Heidi, Scott, Quinn, Kristi, Pat, Ashley, Matt, Cindy
Devin strategically placed each one of us in the canoe, demonstrated the correct way to paddle, and we were off. We paddled down a river that empties into the Hanalei Bay. Once we were out a ways, we came to a stop. Heidi told us to grab our leaves and release our message to our children. Her teammates/friends handed us beautiful Hawaiian flowers to throw in after the leaves. As soon as we did, Devin, who happens to be a member of one of the oldest families on the island, and speaks fluent Hawaiian, began singing an ancient Hawaiian burial song. It was unreal.
The Sea Turtle.
After the canoe trip, Heidi took us out to pizza and we were forced to say goodbye. She is incredible and both Pat and I feel so blessed to call her a friend. We had the rest of the day to explore the island, and met back up with the other couples around 9:30 at the airport. We were sad to say goodbye to the island.
May 8thWe flew through the night and landed in SLC late afternoon. We were anxious to get home to see our kids. We had arranged plenty of face time sessions and phone calls, but 8 days is a long time to leave your kids. Thanks again to my parents for watching them the entire time, Cannon and Cruiz learned how to climb out of their pack n plays while we were gone and this text from my dad gives you a little taste of what they went through :)
Everyone I’ve talked to about our trip tends to be curious about the other couples. I’ll admit we were nervous, but honestly, there couldn’t have been a better group! Each couple brought something unique to the table and we all learned from one another. We’ve actually heard from one another quite often, and I think we’ll be life-long friends.
Heidi Low – the founder of Ohana Oasis lost her five year old daughter, Alison, to a brain tumor ten years ago. You can read more about her story {here}. 
Matt and Cindy – are also fellow Idahoans, but live across the state from where we used to. They lost their 12 year old son, Anthony, just last June to cancer. Next week is their first year Angelversary. We’ll definitely be thinking of your sweet family next week! You can read more about their story {here}.
Quinn and Kristi – Are from Utah, and now we live just one exit away from one another :) We actually did quite a bit on the island together, and they were kind enough to bring us dinner the night we moved to UT. They lost their sweet four year old daughter, Lila, just over a year ago to a rare syndrome called vici syndrome. You can read about their story {here}.
Patrick 
I’m pretty much an open book when it comes to grief. But Pat on the other hand, rarely talks about any of it. I can usually tell he’s upset, but have no idea how to help or what he needs. It can be hard on a marriage at times when you have no idea how to help your spouse.
So you can imagine how I shocked I was when Pat opened up for the first time after losing Preslee. He talked about his feelings, experiences, and emotions, and suddenly so many things made sense. I think due to the fact the accident happened at his family’s house, he not only avoids discussing it with his family, but me as well. I don’t think he wants me to be angry with any of them, which in the end, leaves him with nobody to talk to. At the end of the week, Pat not only acted different, but there was a noticeable difference in his appearance. I can’t thank Heidi enough, this retreat not only helped my husband, but our marriage. I never dreamed our trip would help as much as it did.
So you can imagine how I shocked I was when Pat opened up for the first time after losing Preslee. He talked about his feelings, experiences, and emotions, and suddenly so many things made sense. I think due to the fact the accident happened at his family’s house, he not only avoids discussing it with his family, but me as well. I don’t think he wants me to be angry with any of them, which in the end, leaves him with nobody to talk to. At the end of the week, Pat not only acted different, but there was a noticeable difference in his appearance. I can’t thank Heidi enough, this retreat not only helped my husband, but our marriage. I never dreamed our trip would help as much as it did.
Ashley 
For me, it was a little different. Heidi kept asking throughout the week what we wanted to gain from our stay in Kauai. As a couple, I knew my goal was to strengthen our communication skills, but personally, I had no idea. It really bothered me that I couldn’t come up with an answer. But on the last day, sitting in the middle of the ocean, staring at my leaf floating away in the water, both Pat and I felt Preslee next to us. That’s why I couldn’t stop the tears…While Devin was singing, the thought entered my mind: 
“You’re stressed! This trip has taught you how to relax and how to let the stress go… it really is okay to be happy again.”
I’ll admit it startled me. I wasn’t expecting such an emotional/tender experience. Until that moment I hadn’t even realized how stressed and uptight I’ve been since we’ve lost Preslee. I realized our week stay in Kauai had been the first time I had let my guard down in years. It was one of the first safe environments I had been in since losing Preslee. I’ve come back home aware of my stress levels, and when I feel it rise, I work on getting it back down. I’m happier, I feel lighter and free, and it’s been an extremely long time since I’ve felt like this…nearly five years to be exact.
Thank you to everyone who made our stay in Kauai possible. We are grateful for every single person involved in making the retreat happen. It turned out a million times better than we dreamed it would, and strengthened my desire to help others.
Photo Credit: Nancy Williams - www.postcardmoments.com“The death of a child is every parent’s worst nightmare. Ohana Oasis offers a week of healing while providing an environment for parents to connect with other parents who have lost a child.
Creating this resource is costly, so instead of relying on a handful of generous donors, what if 150,000 people were inspired to show their support for this cause by creating an Ohana of 150,000 donors strong willing to give just $10? Not only would Ohana Oasis be able to serve hundreds of parents, but they would feel the love and support of the larger Ohana (family).”
If you’d like to donate and bless other parents who are struggling to adjust to a new life, you can do so {here}.
How amazing is that. I've always wanted to go to Hawaii!
ReplyDeleteSo glad for the healing you guys experienced! Gave me chills just reading about your experience with the leafs and the sea turtle.
ReplyDeleteI honestly can't think of a better place to spend a few dollars each month. I do so in honor of my sweet grandma who, when she lost her 16 year old youngest son to a car accident, had no one to talk with who understood her loss. She suffered 5 decades of relative silence until she was able to reunite with him when she crossed over in 2001. How I wish she had had resources like this to help her live again after she lost my uncle. Thank you for bringing this amazing resource to our attention. As always, prayers and positives to you and your family.
ReplyDeleteI cried through this entire post. I am so, so happy that you two were able to have this experience. Thank you for sharing it with us. It is amazing how kind and generous people can be. It is very inspiring.
ReplyDeleteWhat an amazing spritual wonderful experience. I'm so happy for you and Pat and that you both realized how much you need to be open with each other and find ways to alleviate or lesson the stresses in life and take time for yourselves and like Lindsey mentioned....heal a little bit more. it's hard to do that sometimes and stress can sometimes be a motivator but it can also damage relationships, health, and our happiness. I love the photo of the boys...LOL. Your angel and your boys were with you at that special moment...some people say it isn't possible but I know it is. Our loved ones live in our hearts and minds....we can have them with us at any moment because we can think of them and actually feel those same feelings when we held them, loved them, kissed them etc. What a lovely lovely thing to have happen for you guys in the boat.
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