I remember packing away Preslee’s clothes. Crying. It was excruciating realizing that my daughter’s life fit into six small bins and there wouldn’t be anything more to add to them. Pat carried each one downstairs to our basement, and just like that, our daughter’s room was empty.
Two years passed, and I did everything I could to avoid those bins. Until I accidently knocked over the pink one, and some of Preslee’s clothes spilled out. On top, laid her pink toddler boots. The tears began to fall, and I knew I still wasn’t ready to decide what to do with Preslee’s belongings, so I quickly shoved everything back inside leaving them to sit for another two years.
This past summer, right before Preslee’s four year Angel anniversary, I finally felt ready to open the bins. I knew I wanted to make a blanket using her clothes. Late one night after putting the kids to bed, Pat brought up each bin and I sorted through her clothes deciding what I wanted to use for the blanket. I cried through the entire process, but knowing I was starting the last task I needed to complete, took a weight off my shoulders.
I luckily have an amazing seamstress for a friend. Crazy talented! Tiffany, who runs Tiny Seamstress Designs offered to help with the project, and I am still soo grateful for all that she did! (Details below) Tiffany went above and beyond, she put a million details into the blanket, and the final result turned out better than I could have ever imagined!
Thank you Tiffany, I love you!
She kept a few ruffles from from Preslee’s dress. (Yellow square)
One of Preslee’s favorite books, In My Nest, by Sarah Gillingham, contained a blue bird finger puppet. While Tiffany was working on the blanket, Cannon and Cruiz destroyed the book. I was upset. Pat suggested I see if Tiffany could incorporate it into the blanket. Tiffany worked her magic and fit it in perfectly.
Tiffany kept the buttons on jacket and then sewed the coordinating onesie below. Amazing!
A reader left me a comment sharing the idea of leaving a few tags of the size of clothing.
Tiffany left three blocks with the sizes on it. One of my favorite details on the blanket.
Tiffany left three blocks with the sizes on it. One of my favorite details on the blanket.
Tiffany came up with the idea of incorporating Preslee’s binky. I cried.
She attached the binky to ribbon and sewed it into the pocket.
She attached the binky to ribbon and sewed it into the pocket.
Tiffany told me she envisioned this hanging in our future girls nursery above a changing table.
(We’ve gotta talk Pat into that one… :)
So she added two pockets (up above) to make it easy to hang with a curtain rod or dowel.
I used them while taking pictures, it worked great.
I used them while taking pictures, it worked great.
I can’t get over the quilting details! Along with how perfectly the three pieces of fabric tie in.
The Process
I showed up to Tiffany’s house with a large bin of sorted clothes, I put in anything that still had meaning after four years, (There was a lot). Tiffany had different patterns waiting for me to pick from. I also brought examples that different readers had sent me, (Thank you! They helped so much!). What I learned from the different examples was that each blanket showed a different personality, so I knew whatever pattern we picked, I wanted it to scream Preslee! I also learned I wanted a quilted look to it, and wanted it to be on the smaller side. I knew if it was too large I’d pack it away because I wouldn’t know where to keep it, and after spending four years in bins, I didn’t want it to go right back in one.
As I was looking through Camille Roskelley’s book Simplify, the pattern Sweet Pea, instantly stood out. Tiffany agreed it was a good match for all the different colors of clothing we would be using. Then we got to work.
I told Tiffany I wanted to help as much as I could. The first step was to narrow what I brought down to what we would use to cut out five inch squares. Some of the fabric wouldn’t work well, so we eliminated items like swimming suits, jackets, and some dresses.
When I began cutting, I instantly panicked. I was so emotionally tied to each piece of clothing that I felt sick about the possibility of messing up. Tiffany quickly read the situation and suggested I iron the squares after she cut them out. I was incredibly appreciative, and ironed like a champ :) We didn’t finish before I needed to leave, and she asked if she could work on it while I wasn’t there. I said yes, and before I knew it she sent me a picture of all the squares cut out.
After that, there wasn’t really much I could do. I don’t sew well enough to attempt a project like this, so my job was to buy the supplies and find fabric I wanted to use. I spent hours looking for the perfect fabric. I was frustrated. I wanted it to perfectly represent Preslee. I was about to give up when I walked in to a local variety store (Abbotts) and my eyes immediately were drawn to the turquoise and pink sitting next to each other. I was ecstatic. I found three pieces that matched what I had in mind.
When Tiffany called and said it was finished, I ran over as fast as I could! All the little details are out of this world, and with all the different mismatched pieces of fabric, I find something new every time I look at it.
What I Learned
- If I would have made this blanket just following Preslee’s death, I realized I would have picked different outfits. I know I would have picked mostly 18 month – 24 month sizes, what she was wearing at the time she passed away. But four years later, I found myself picking the clothes that held strong memories. I’m really happy I waited to complete this project, (Though it wasn’t planned) because I was sure I knew what I wanted.
- I was terrified to cut up Preslee’s clothes, but when Tiffany sent me a picture of all her clothes cut into squares, I was surprised how happy they made me. I no longer saw little girl shirts, noticing how small she was when she passed away, I just saw pleasant memories. My suggestion is to have someone else cut up the clothes. It was terrible.
- I’m glad I had Tiffany to piece the blocks. It was better to have someone who wasn’t so emotionally tied to each block, and she was able to make it work.
- I think one of the reasons I subconsciously waited to make the blanket was if I had a girl I wanted to use Preslee’s clothes. But six years later, most everything was out of date. I knew if I have a girl down the road, I wouldn’t use most of it anymore. My cousin suggested I save some scraps and make bows out of them if I still want to incorporate them. I loved that idea. I left a few pieces of clothing untouched, and I plan on donating about eight dresses to Primary Children’s Hospital.
- As I was looking at our blanket, I couldn't help but think how anyone who has lost a loved one wouldn't appreciate this. I think it would be such a special thing for spouses, children, siblings, parents, ect.
I love the finished product. I catch Ledger looking at it all the time. I’ve threatened him with his life, and explained he can look with his eyes, but can’t touch any of it, if I’m not with him. He loves asking questions about all the different pieces of clothing. I’ve also walked by the room and saw Patrick looking at it quite frequently, smiling.
For right now, it’s draped across my chair, and we’re in love with it.
Thank you Tiffany, we will always treasure it!
Seamstress: Tiffany Jenkins, From Tiny Seamstress Designs.Design: Camille Roskelley’s book Simplify, Pattern: Sweet Pea.
Fabric: Sweet Harmony, Designed by Amy Hamberlin,
Speechless. Just blow away speechless!!
ReplyDeleteLove it!!! So precious!!!
ReplyDeleteBeautiful. We had Laynee's clothes made into a quilt as well. My friend who made it also made four smaller ones for each of my older children. I treasured possession for sure. So grateful you were able to do this. Praying comfort for you always aching heart as we approach another Christmas without our little girls.
ReplyDeleteThat is absolutely beautiful, and very very special. I wish I would have thought to do something like this 36 years ago.
ReplyDeleteWow, absolutely beautiful! So special! Heartbreaking but SO beautiful!
ReplyDeleteI love quilts made out of clothing, and yours turned out just amazing!!
ReplyDeleteOh wow!! I love the monkey print (of course that has to be there) and all the embelishments, pockets, buttons, birdie, etc. The 18th month from one of her outfits...has great significance. Oh, Ashley. It is perfect and beautiful, just like Preslee is.
ReplyDeleteI love this! Camille is my sister-in-law and I love what you did with that pattern. What a beautiful way to remember your sweet girl!
ReplyDeleteThis truly brought me to tears. That Tiffany is pretty amazing, isn't she? What a special quilt for such a special girl. Sending lots of love your way.
ReplyDelete(Sorry if you got 25 comments from me- I couldn't get it to work! :-)
ReplyDeletethis is possibly the most beautiful thing i've ever seen....wow! and thank you for explaining so beautifully the process you went through to make it. it brings tears to my eyes. you are amazing and tiffany has a God-given talent for sure. so beautiful.
ReplyDeleteWhat an INCREDIBLE treasure! Just beautiful!
ReplyDeleteAmazing and beautiful!
ReplyDeleteWhat a treasure! I am so glad you have that quilt. Such a sweet reminder of that beautiful little girl in your home. I love that you have memories of her in those little clothes and seeing them daily keeps those memories so fresh so you can never forget the "little things" about her. :)
ReplyDeleteIt's absolutely perfect!
ReplyDeleteBeautiful, Ash. Breaks my heart, but what a treasure.
ReplyDeleteSo beautiful! It looks perfect!
ReplyDeleteBeautiful post! Thank you for sharing your experiences. You are truly an amazing example.
ReplyDeleteThis is a work of art. Absolutely beautiful! I would frame it! :-)
ReplyDeleteAshley, I don't comment often, but I am a faithful reader. I must say that this quilt is one of the most beautiful quilts I've seen. I'm a quilter and can really appreciate the talent, time and treasure that went into creating this memorial for you of your gorgeous daughter. All the details were so thoughtfully included and you can see that is a work of love. I can see now, that waiting to have this made, created what is the completed project. Each time you look at it, memories will pop up, and some of them will be new and exciting, while others will be more subtle.
ReplyDeleteA very Merry and Blessed Christmas to you and your family. Continue to blog, you are an inspiration to many, even those of us who have never met you in person.
From a Mom of 3 and Grandma of 6.
Nami
I love it Ashley! Tiffany did an amazing job and I'm so glad you have something so sweet made out of Preslee's clothes!
ReplyDeleteAshley -- I confess I am a lurker and have been praying for you & your family since Preslee died. I am so happy you have this quilt. I have 3 girls who are all teenagers--- I have a few of their baby/toddler outfits that I just couldn't let go of...now I know what I will do with them. Thank you for the inspiration! More than that, thank you for sharing your life. You are a strong and beautiful young woman. Your children are so blessed to have you as their mom--those in heaven past, future, and those crazy boys here on earth. Merry Christmas to you & Pat!
ReplyDeleteIt's perfect. What a beautiful memorial. Hugs to all.
ReplyDeleteIt's beautiful. Just beautiful.
ReplyDeleteAbsolutely beautiful. What a treasure!
ReplyDeleteThis is anot amazing quilt. What a beautiful keepsake. The incorporated details are so touching.
ReplyDelete