Church…

(Imagine this, but with snow :)

By the time we pulled in to the snow covered parking lot, we were already late. Pat threw the van into park, and within seconds we were both out of the car. I quickly slung the overstuffed diaper bag over my shoulder and grabbed a baby carrier and took off towards the door as fast as my pencil skirt and heels would carry me. Pat wasn’t far behind with Ledger and his own carrier in tow.

We practically ran into the chapel, spotted an empty bench toward the front, and attempted to sit - when we noticed it was saved…(That should be against the rules). Our caravan came to an abrupt halt, and we stood there in the middle of the isle looking for somewhere else to sit. Pat turned and led us to the very back row in the overflow.

We sat just in time for the opening prayer. I asked Ledger to fold his arms, which set him into a frenzy. Within seconds he was yelling at the top of his lungs, “NO MOM! I NO NOT TO!” (I don’t want to) So out in the hall we went, while he thrashed and screamed the whole way out. Minutes later, we were able to regain composure, and we reentered the chapel just in time to witness Cruiz literally throw up all over Pat. Pat looked up and gave me ‘The look.’ After every burp cloth was used to wipe up the mess, I couldn’t help but notice the smell was horrific. Within minutes, all three kids were crying, everyone around us was staring, so we packed up the gang, made a little more commotion and hauled everyone out the door.

We parked in the foyer, and Pat smelled so badly of vomit, that he insisted he go home to change. I immediately panicked and said, “You can’t leave me alone with all three kids!” We finally agreed that Pat would take the twins home, and I would stay and let Ledger go to nursery.

Sounds doable, right?

Just minutes after Pat walked out the door, Ledger became frantic because Dad left, and I realized I forgot to feed the kid! Seriously, how did I do that? I tried all forms of bribery to quiet him down, but pretzels and raisins weren’t cutting it. Less than thirty minutes after church started, I decided Ledger and I were done too. I grabbed the diaper bag, and once again swung it over my shoulder, grabbed my screaming toddler’s hand and walked dragged him out the door, only to realize Pat drove the car home…

Though we only live a couple blocks away from the church, it was the dead of winter. Let me remind you I was wearing a pencil skirt and heels, (What was I thinking?) and it was freezing. I tugged my screaming toddler’s hand and began walking. Our pace was slow due to Ledger fighting me, and screaming “Nursery!” at the top of his lungs. As we crossed the street, Ledger decided he’d had enough, and fell to the ground. He was laying in the street kicking and screaming, covering himself in snow. I struggled picking him up, and then decided, why not let him learn his his lesson? Once he gets cold he’ll get up. I was right, and a few minutes later he started screaming, “I Cold!” and he climbed back on to his feet.

 

I attempted to pick him up, but with him kicking, my diaper bag, and my hills slipping on the ice, we weren’t getting very far. So, I began dragging him…he refused to walk. Suddenly, a car passed (definitely not my proudest parenting moment) and Ledger fell to the ground again. While he was rolling and kicking in the snow, the car stopped and backed up. The lady rolled down her window and with a horrified look on her face asked how she could help. I repeatedly assured her we were fine, and though she offered to drive us home, my pride got in the way, and I graciously declined. I was too embarrassed to put my screaming toddler in the backseat of her car.

Finally, Ledger realized how cold the snow was, and decided he was ready to go home. With a puffy red face and runny nose, he asked me to carry him. So at a snail’s pace, we somehow made it home. By the time I walked in the house, I was so mad at Pat for leaving me without a car, that I threw Ledger into his arms, and stormed into our bedroom to change. When I explained what happened, Pat started laughing. After a few seconds he was laughing so hard he could barely talk. At first, I was so disgusted all I could do was glare, but within minutes, I was laughing too.

Pat apologized, and then said,

“It’s three against two, and sometimes we’re gonna have to admit we lost. Today, we CLEARLY lost!” 

That was one of our first experiences going back to church with the twins.

And for the record, Ledger hasn’t acted like that since. He’s been pretty good.

But last week, during the first hour of church, we experienced - two feedings, 4 poopy diapers (all three boys, and Cruiz twice) one blowout, and I was lucky enough to be peed on while changing the blowout.

Cruiz looks quite pleased with himself doesn’t he?

One day, (maybe 18 years from now) we’ll get everything under control. But until then, I’m gonna keep on recording; because like I’ve said before, one day I know I’m going to miss these crazy days.

Hopefully one day all the hard work will pay off and our boys will understand why we drag them to church. We know that no matter how hard it is, it’ll be beneficial in the end.

And we’ll just keep on laughing.