Sometimes there are moments when everything is washed away.
All the work, tears, and experiences, seem to disappear.
And it feels like I've traveled back in time.
It feels like I'm suffocating.
It's overwhelming.
And I learn all over again that heartache is a real physical pain.
It's times like these, that I don't understand why my little girl was taken so early. I know I shouldn't question it, and that it won't change anything, but I still do...
What I wouldn't do to gaze into these blue eyes again,
or comb her out of control hair one more time.
or comb her out of control hair one more time.
It's moments like these I realize my heart will never be completely whole until I'm holding this little monkey in my arms again.
And sometimes, that seems like an eternity away.
I ache for you just looking at the picture... Cannot imagine what it feels like for you. Not sure how to comfort you - true it will be years before you are reunited (and hopefully years of earthly happiness with your family), but then you will have the whole of eternity (forever)to rejoice with Sweet Preslee. A promise that will come true. Hold on. V. (France)
ReplyDeletePraying for you!!
ReplyDeleteI am sorry you are having one of those moments. Your name will be in our family prayer today, and mine all day:) The Lord take that moment away quickly, and replace it with loving peace.
ReplyDeleteHer eyes look surreal in this picture! Such a gorgeous little girl. We are so blessed to know this little one. I'm so sorry you're having a rough day Ash. We love you and Pat so much and are praying for you.
ReplyDeleteKeep you in our prayers. Wish I could take the pain away if only for a day, or an hour, or anytime I could.
ReplyDeleteSo many hugs and prayers! My heart aches for you. I know the feeling of waking up and feeling like the loss was just yesterday. I pray that you are blessed with some peace, and that tomorrow is better. You and your little family are so loved by so many people!
ReplyDeleteYou must miss her so much. I'm sorry for your pain. I think any mother would question why their baby was taken so young, but you continue to handle it with grace and amazing faith. As a mother, my heart aches for you. I can't imagine having to live the rest of my earthly life without my child. I'm so grateful for the knowledge we have that we will all be reunited with those we love that have passed on before us. Praying for peace and comfort for you.
ReplyDeletei have chills. she is so angelic and i feel your pain. i am so sorry.
ReplyDeleteOh how I feel your pain. It's been 4 1/2 years and I still have those days/moments. Our brains are trying to make sense of something that doesn't make any sense. We will NEVER understand this side of Heaven. But someday we will get to hold them again. Someday...
ReplyDeleteHugs,
Trisha
Wow, those eyes! I often wonder about you and how you survive days like today. I'm so sorry. I'm so glad you have Pat, Ledger, and your testimony to help you endure the pain.
ReplyDeleteWhat a beauty! Thinking of you always.
ReplyDelete-Courtney Gibbons-
You are always in my prayers and thoughts, even though we are oceans apart. XX
ReplyDeleteI'm praying for you and the pain and suffering you are going through.
ReplyDeleteYou blow me away with your faith... I hope you find comfort when you need it most..thinking of you all x
ReplyDeleteWe love you guys Ash! You and Pat are two of the strongest people i know...my heart aches whenever I hear you talk about Preslee, or whenever I see pictures of her...and yet my heartache can't be even a fraction of what yours feels like! Mark and I are moving soon, but we wanted you guys to know we think the world of your family and we continue to keep you in our prayers! We love you guys!
ReplyDeleteWe love you guys Ash! You and Pat are two of the strongest people i know...my heart aches whenever I hear you talk about Preslee, or whenever I see pictures of her...and yet my heartache can't be even a fraction of what yours feels like! Mark and I are moving soon, but we wanted you guys to know we think the world of your family and we continue to keep you in our prayers! We love you guys!
ReplyDeleteShe is such a cutie! Someday, she will certainly be in your arms again. Thank goodness we know that, even if it doesn't stop the most painful days, it gets us through to better days. I read an article from The Friend to my kids the other day and thought of all the "blog friends" I lurk who have lost loved ones and thought it was such a good idea. I just had to share. Here is the link: http://www.lds.org/friend/2000/12/nathans-gift?lang=eng&query=christmas+stocking+family+gift
ReplyDeleteI know you have started other traditions but this a way to fill her stocking each year with gifts of love from those who love her most! I don't know if I would leave it up all year or pull it back out to read and fill more each year. And I am certain, ultimately it will be the gift you all want most! Thank you again for sharing your cute family and sweet story.
I found your blog through a friend's and your story has touched me dearly. I am sorry for your seperatation from your angel.I cannot begin to imagine how you are feeling. I have nothing that will ease the pain, but please know I am grateful to you for sharing your family's story and testimony with the world. It has helped stregthen me and make me a better Daughter of our Heavenly Father and have a better understanding of the different stages of grief. I thought I understood but you taught me so much and it has made me understand my family better. So thank you from the depths of my soul. May you feel the strength and support you need to continue on your journey.
ReplyDeletewish that wasn't her story nor yalls either, love yall to pieces makes me sick to even think what yall feel at times! love you!
ReplyDeleteThinking of you, you are in my thoughts and prayers.
ReplyDeleteShe is so beautiful, I could just stare at those eyes all day long. Hugs for you, Momma.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry you guys have to experience that heartache and feel that pain. She is so adorable.
ReplyDeleteyes. that is all. just yes.
ReplyDeletelove to you. my heart feeling it too lately.
stephanie waite
Ashley, my heart aches for you. I cannot imagine the pain and saddness you feel. I have three grown girls about the same age as you and a granddaughter who will be 2 in December, she looks very much like your sweet Presslee Jo. I happend apon your blog and have been touched like you will never understand by your story. I think of Presslee when I look at Riley playing. It makes my heart hurt for you. Your precious baby has made an impact on the lives of complete strangers. I love my family more because of your story. I love my Riley more because I know there are no promises of tomorrow. Presslee is here, I believe she is in the heart of so many now, she is certainly in mine, and so is your sweet faimly. I pray you find peace, I thank you for sharing your story, it's made a difference in mine.
ReplyDeleteIf I could hug you I would
Lynn