Dear Preslee,

I am so glad this second year has come to an end. It's been hard, plain and simple.

I didn't write much about one of our trials, which was how losing you affected our marriage. Your dad and I both grieve so differently, and became different people as we tried to cope with sleepless nights, exhaustion, depression, and a new baby. We were patient with each other for the first year, but our patience grew thin during the second.
  It's hard to watch your spouse hurt for so long and not be able to help.

But as hard as this past year was, you keep on teaching me...

That I love your dad more than anything, and realize I couldn't do this alone.

That you have a deep love for your little brother.

While heavily grieving, its nearly impossible to feel you close by. But as we both are beginning to leave the depression behind, we've come to to realize you've never been far away.

And finally, I've learned this blog is so much bigger than me. It's actually not about me at all, it's about you. I'm constantly in awe as I see the affect you have on so many different people around the world. You are still teaching me and others, and I am beyond grateful.

So here's to a new year.

 I pray that it will be an easier one. If not, I hope your Dad and I will learn what we are supposed to, hopefully while keeping the eternal perspective in mind.

I can't help but smile when realizing we are officially two years closer to being reunited.

Love you Monkey.

Love,

Mama