Today I received word that a family from Rexburg lost their two year old little girl at Primary Children's Hospital early this morning. She was ran over in the McDonald's drive thru and life flighted to PCMC. It surprised Pat and myself how upset the news made us. I couldn't believe how it brought back such strong emotions from our experience at PCMC. I was a complete wreck all day. I cried in the testing center as I took a math test, I couldn't focus, my thoughts switching between Preslee and this family. After I sat there long enough and realized I just wasn't going to be able to pull it together, I quickly left. When my score flashed on the screen I burst into tears, it was the lowest test score I've ever received. Poor Pat received a phone call from his wife in tears blubbering on about a failed math test and how hard today was.
My heart is breaking for this family, because I know what is to come. I know the pain, and the heartache. I know it all too well. We're only three and half months out, but this is something I desperately wish nobody would have to experience! It drastically changes your life.
Tonight, Mrs. T, my coordinating teacher at the Middle School called to let me know one of the students in the classroom belongs to the family. I hadn't put the connection together. My heart broke even more. She's such a sweet girl, I wish I could give her a great big hug right now. Our prayers will definitely be with the Lofgran family and the person driving the truck. We'll be praying for them for a very long time. We know how much prayers help.
Today was a rough day for a lot of us too. Cara sent me to your blog and it's beautiful. Juliet was my niece and I'm heading up tomorrow to help where I can. I can't imagine losing a child and I'm so sorry you had to lose yours. Heaven has a lot of great little angels right now.
ReplyDeleteIn our prayers!
ReplyDeleteDear Ashley,
ReplyDeleteI have been following your inspirational story and after just reading this post it reminded me of a video I listened to the other day and posted on my own blog.
http://www.youtube.com/mormonmessages#p/c/4E784EC0770935C0/52/wz41YxNiHEg
It is from Quentin L. Cook's talk "Hope Ya Know We Had a Hard Time. If the link does not work just find that one video on Mormon Messages.
Here is the link to the talk:
http://lds.org/ldsorg/v/index.jsp?hideNav=1&locale=0&sourceId=e9d7a0ad4843d110VgnVCM100000176f620a____&vgnextoid=f318118dd536c010VgnVCM1000004d82620aRCRD
I don't have any children yet. I just got married recently but I can't imagine the pain my heart would feel if I had to encounter your trial.
Although I have not experienced what you have I know certain experiences take our heart to a higher level of understanding towards others and their own trials. You have the great burden of carrying this certain understanding!
I just want you to know I think you are doing a great job of carrying it! You and the Lofgran family will be in mine and my husbands prayers!
Thank you for your courage to do hard things every day of your life!
Sharon Benson
ash, I am so sorry. I thought about about you and preslee all day as well, Dr. lofgran saved my life and I will always be grateful. I hope you feel some peace tonight I couldn't imagine what you are going through but i hope you know that my prayers are with your family as well as the lofgrans. I wish I had something comforting to say but I just hope that you are able to feel of the saviors love tonight, and always.
ReplyDeleteYou and your family, as well as the family that lost their little girl are in my prayers. May God be with you both.
ReplyDeleteI've been crying every day too - so many sad things are happening around me regarding children and I just never knew growing up that life would be this hard. We constantly praying for everyone. It was hard trying to look up the news feed for the little girl, cause of course Preslee's name popped up to. I'm so sorry for you that you failed your math test. Hopefully it was enough to get you through the semester so you can focus on other things.
ReplyDeleteI'm on your team, Ash. Hang in there. Thinking about you and Pat daily. And this sweet family. Miracles happen. Did you see that story on Oprah about the family that lost 3 children in a car accident and almost 4 months afterwards the wife was pregnant with triplets? Heavenly Father is aware of us. He really is. Know that I'm with you on this journey too! If it is via blog world.
ReplyDeleteHi,
ReplyDeleteYou don't know me, but you know my aunt and uncle, Ron and Jill Anderson. Anyway, I found your blog this morning and read about what happened with your sweet daughter. I just wanted to say, first of all, that I'm sorry. I don't know what you must be going through, but I would imagine it's one of the hardest things in the world. Second of all, I wanted to say thank you. Reading your blog has given me a renewed sense of gratitude for my role as a parent. I have two children, and after reading about your experience I have made a renewed commitment to treasure my children and not take life with them for granted. I hope that life brings you happiness in the midst of this tremendous trial.
I hope today is a better day for you Ash. I know you will be a strength to this family. We are praying for both of you!!! Hang in there. xoxo
ReplyDeleteOh Ashley, Im so sorry! That poor family, you. I hope you know what an inspiration you are to everyone. I dont know how you guys go through what you did and then go back to school etc. You truly are amazing. Youre all in my prayers! May you recieve some comfort from somewhere special today!
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ReplyDeleteThanks Ashley for your prayers. Your strength is helping our family more than you know. We continue to pray for you, too. I'll give that sweet student a hug for you tonight when I see her. We are so blessed to know that families are forever. We love you guys!
ReplyDeleteSuch tragedies, especially when they happen to children. Talk to your math teacher - I know they can make accommodations when they need to, I know I would for one of my students. My heart goes out to you, the pain doesn't end, it just becomes bearable - the mercies of the Atonement in action. I also feel so badly for the Logran family. I will keep them in my prayers, as I do you and your family.
ReplyDeletelove you pat and ashley...i have been thinking so much of your sweet family as well as the lofgrans the last few days. the pain is always present I'm sure losing someone you love so much! you are in our thoughts and prayers! love katie
ReplyDeleteMy heart is just aching for all of you right now. I am so sorry. We can only just pray for all of you to grow and learn and survive these experiences, and always love and vividly remember your little ones.
ReplyDeleteAshley, I heard about that sweet little girl yesterday when I worked at the hospital. I instantly thought of you, Pat, and Preslee. That poor little girl and her family. I can understand why it affected you so much.
ReplyDeleteToday I went visiting teaching. We were supposed to choose a thought from the General Conference talks. I chose one given by a counselor in the Relief Society called, "Steadfast and Immovable." She talks about how Heavenly Father knows each and every one of us personally and wants us all to be happy and joyous. She later tells a story of a family in Argentina who traveled 27 hours, one way, in the middle of winter, to go get sealed in the temple. On their way back, both their children passed away due to illness.
She describes how strong this couple became through their faith. They returned home and felt empty and sorrowful, but found comfort in knowing that they had just been sealed to one another and would be an eternal family.
I found myself telling these two women about your's and Pat's story. I talked about you a lot and how I don't know you personally, but through reading about your experiences of dealing with such a tragedy, I have come to realize that the only way to get through trials is to cleave to our Heavenly Father. I told them how amazing you are and how I strive so hard to have the amount of faith and positive attitude that you have.
I can't even imagine the pain you guys have experienced, but as I've gotten to know you, I've been able to use you as an example in my daily life and remember that if you can make it so gracefully through a trial like this, I can make it through my trials. "I can do hard things." (I love that you shared that)
Thank you for being so strong. I know Preslee is so proud of her parents! You're amazing people. Isn't the Plan of Salvation wonderful? I love you guys. You are my heroes! Hang in there.
I know Crystal has a hard time every time she hears of, or knows, a person whom's lost a child. Your heart is forever "broken" once you've tasted this bitter cup--at least for as far as your mortal life takes you. You are an inspiration to me, to endure so well, yet not hide your sorrow of a tough path. I'm sorry.
ReplyDeleteI cant even imagine-- us parents have to stick together. Im sure that family would love a hug from you, knowing you know how what they r going through. My heart breaks for anyone who has to go through what you have been through. as a mother of 3, I can't even imagine how diffcult it must be. I admire you. You and your husband, and that sweet family from Rexburg will be in our prayers.
ReplyDeleteAshley- I've been over to your blog a time or two since I first saw a link to it. I've tried commenting but couldn't think of the right words. I just wanted to let you know what an inspiration you are to me and that I admire your courage. That goes for Patrick too. I cannot fathom what you feel like and how everything has been since the accident but I know you are qualified to live it. The Lord knows you have the strength to overcome this- and you will- I see that you have in many ways already. Your family is always in my thoughts!
ReplyDeleteOh sweetheart I am so sorry. You and Pat are in our prayers always! Much love to the family of this little girl. Peace be with you guys hon...Sweet peace!
ReplyDeletei look at your blog weekly and on wensday night i shared it with my husband and he was just amazed with all your strenghth and thought you guys were so amazing then thursday night he was working at primarys and he had to go pick up that little girl at the airport with the flight team, all he could tell me was she was a fighter and then you guys poped into his thoughts,
ReplyDeleteand allhe could do was cry, we are so sorry for all you have been through and what this family will have to go through but please know we pray for you always and for your family and thank you for being great examples to us..your strenghth and your words and your faith has been a great a blessing to us through are own trials ....
So sorry...sounds like the Lord will guide you to be able to help them...
ReplyDeleteDear Ashley,
ReplyDeleteThank you for being someone to look to for stregnth,faith, and a stronger testimony when the world has many people lacking in many areas that we are suppose to look up to. Your example, is amazing.
"Mourn with those that mourn" - something we have been commanded to do by our Savior. You and Pat have truly learned how to do just that. In that way you have become like our Savior when he wept after hearing about the death of Lazarus. You have been able to feel that same pain that the Lofgran family is feeling and truly mourn for their loss. That is a blessing to deep down be able to "mourn with those that mourn" and yet it still isn't easy to bear such emotions. I truly wish that I could be there for you during those difficult moments. I wish I could be that shoulder to cry on. I wish I was more in tune with your needs and could know when you need someone to reach out and comfort you.
ReplyDeletePlease let me know if there is ever anything I can do for you. I fear that you and your little Preslee have done more for me than I will ever be able to do for you. I wanted to lift you up in your time of pain and sorrow but instead you are continually lifting me up and inspiring me to be a better person. You truly have a unique mission here on earth.
I'm sorry you had such a hard day. That is so difficult to hear about that family. My heart aches for them, as it does for you and Patrick. We constantly pray for you, and will be adding this family into our prayers as well. We love you guys. Wish I could give a great big hug right now. We miss you guys. Know that we love and care for you both and think about you every day.
ReplyDeleteLooks like the book that you have been putting together and your journal could really help this family at this time. I'm sure they too want to know how to cope with their loss. I am sorry this brings such painful memories back for you. I think it may help both of your families to get together sometime and talk about it. It might be a really powerful experience and very uplifting. we're still praying for you all the time. Hope things get easier to handle every day.
ReplyDeleteI was led to your blog by a friend,I must admit you are probably one of the strongest couples I have fallen upon. I do want to say a little something to both families. (actually to all families) I did not write this, but have grown to Love this saying!
ReplyDeleteI called and the Lord heard me .. .. .. He is close to the broken ~ hearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.
Please continue to be strong! Because you are strong soooo many more will be!!
Wow that would b hard to deal with so soon after ur situation! I think of Preslee often and think of u and ur feelings when I am getting frustrated being a mom! It is so hard, but it is something a lot of us take for granted! I am sorry u had such a hard day! I hope that as time goes on u will have less and less of those hard days, but believe me i have not been through something this tragic but I have had to endure hard things and I still have days or things that bring it all back up and the whole day seems to fall apart! I am sorry u did not do well on ur test but u will do better next time! Dont expect too much of urself, dont b hard on urself,u have a lot on ur plate! This is such a hard thing to deal with for sure and u sound like u r handling it very well! Have a good day!
ReplyDeleteI felt impressed to share this scripture with you. I read it this morning and was in tears thinking about how it related to my own situation in life. Then the Spirit brought you to mind, and I cried even harder thinking how it related to your situation in life.
ReplyDeleteEther 2:24-25
"For behold, ye shall be as a whale in the midst of the sea; for the mountain waves shall dash upon you. Nevertheless, I will bring you up again out of the depths of the sea; for the winds have gone forth out of my mouth, and also the rains and the floods have I sent forth. And behold, I prepare you against these things; for ye cannot cross this great deep save I prepare you against the waves of the sea, and the winds which have gone forth, and the floods which shall come. ..."
Ashley, you are so sweet and tender hearted. As I read your sweet note, a scripture in Mosiah came to my mind:
ReplyDeleteYea, and are willing to mourn with those that mourn; yea, and comfort those that stand in need of comfort, and to stand as witnesses of God at all times and in all things, and in all places that ye may be in, even until death, that ye may be redeemed of God, and be numbered with those of the first resurrection, that ye may have eternal life— Mosiah 18:9
It's always hard to see a child go home regardless of the fact that you know how special they must have been. It's almost like it just reopens the wound that was just beginning to finally heal.
This "club" we are in now, is not a fun club. The initiation fee is really steep. But the blessing are endless. Your little Preslee is working her beautiful magic on both ends of the spectrum: Up there and also through you and Pat and through so many others touched by your example and love for the Saviour.
We will keep them in our prayers along with you and Pat. One day I'll get the privelege of meeting you! :) Best wishes.
Loves,
Tif
Jack's mom
Dear Ashley,
ReplyDeleteI can’t imagine what you’re going through. The first time I read your blog I was overcome by your story. I have never gone through anything like that. When I hear and read stories like yours, it helps me realize that life is full of challenges. Every person has different trials. How we defeat the pain and affliction from them is part of enduring to the end. When we have come out conqueror, blessings are poured from Christ’s and Heavenly Father’s fingertips. Thank you for helping me recognize this. Your story is truly touching and will help many others bear their burdens.
There is a Mormon Message on Elder Holland’s talk “Good Things to Come”. He says this, “Don't you quit. You keep walking. You keep trying. There is help and happiness ahead. Some blessings come soon, some come late, and some don't come until heaven. But for those who embrace the gospel of Jesus Christ they come. It will be all right in the end. Trust God and believe in good things to come.” I truly believe this as well. This quote got me through one of the most trying times in my life. It felt like I had no one to talk to and the wound would never heal. After watching this message, I felt the Savior’s arms encircle me as though He were there. It was confirmation to me that the Lord will answer our prayers when we sincerely humble ourselves. I know that as you go through this, it will be hard and trying. However, the Lord is there for all of us and your little girl is helping so many others on the other side of the veil. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your husband as you seek for good things to come, and to help others through your inspirational story. If you would like to, here is the link to the Mormon Message http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8nczw6xHJ0I.
Siddyshemi-
ReplyDeleteMy heart aches for you. I admire you for trying to hold things together with school, but I can understand that sometimes you just CAN'T. Nobody should have to try and hide the hurt they are feeling inside. What horrible news for you to have to hear. Those emotions that flood your mind and consume your thoughts are hard to push away, you must cry through it and let it all out if you are to truly heal someday. Sidd, I still think about you often and I look up to you more than I ever have. Every day I wish that happiness will come your way, somewhere, somehow. May you still find something to smile about each day.
I will be praying for you specifically tonight.
Love you.
Andy
Ash, thank you for also keeping the person driving the truck in your prayers, he is closely related to me and it has been rough for our whole family. I can't even imagine what the Lofgren family is going through, and we have kept them in our hearts and prayers, but I do know how much the person on the other side of the accident is struggling. It's just a reminder that we are not in control and complete accidents have to happen for a reason.
ReplyDelete