Life is hard. Sometimes it's incredibly hard. That is how it's been for us the past little while. Many people have told me that when I look back I will be amazed at how much I've grown, the crazy thing is I've already seen it...
For all of you who have lost a child, or who will in the future, I'm not going to pretend it isn't the most painful and difficult thing I've ever experienced. I've always wanted to be a mother, and have loved every single moment. To all the mom's out there I think you're simply amazing. I don't think we realize how much time we give up, and how much we love doing what we do for our children. To revert back to only having myself and Patrick to think about is difficult. It's painful to wake up each morning to silence and not hearing Preslee call out "mama." I miss the long stroller walks and reading her books. I miss the tender moments I had with her saying her nightly prayers right before bed. I even miss the tantrums thrown in public. :) I miss everything about that little girl. Again, it's so difficult to go back being consumed with myself, and not focused on Preslee.
President Thomas S. Monson, stated: “I believe the Savior is telling us that unless we lose ourselves in service to others, there is little purpose to our own lives. Those who live only for themselves eventually shrivel up and figuratively lose their lives, while those who lose themselves in service to others grow and flourish—and in effect save their lives.”
That's what being a mother is, it's service. That's why it brings so much joy. So tonight, when you've had a long day and your kids are on your nerves, realize how much different you would be without them.
That's what being a mother is, it's service. That's why it brings so much joy. So tonight, when you've had a long day and your kids are on your nerves, realize how much different you would be without them.
We have received hundreds of comments and personal e-mails.I still haven't been able to read all of them yet.. But I notice more and more of you are asking me the same question. How are you able to handle it? I feel compelled to share my little secret... It's the knowledge I have from being a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. I know many of you don't know much about this church, but it's worth finding out. Click here to do so. Or here.
When the pioneers left the East to head West they stated, "We came to know God through our trials." This is what has happened for Patrick and I. God and his son Jesus Christ have never left our side, not even for a moment. There are times during the day when the weight and the pain seems almost too much to bare. I've never hurt like this before. But, when I get down on my knees and pray, I literally feel a weight taken off my shoulders. That is how I manage, I'm not doing this on my own. Some of you have written and said I'm just acting fine on the surface - my response to you is, deep down I'm fine as well because I know there is life after death. If Pat and I do what we need to and live our lives like we know we should, we will have the privilege to see our monkey again. But until then, we'll be taking it day by day, hour by hour, and sometimes minute by minute to try to make it through.
We're hoping and praying that we'll be blessed with the privilege to be parents to another little spirit soon. I get anxious thinking about it and know I'll be a much better mother because of this experience.
God has answered our prayers through many of you. We can't thank you all enough for your generosity. I am still amazed at the wonderful hearts all of you possess. We pray that God will bless you as much as He has blessed us.
Love,
The Sullengers
You are AMAZING! You have given me so much inspiration, and I can only hope that one day and can be as strong as you. I don't even know you or your family and I have found myself sobbing over your story daily, so I can't even begin to imagine how this how affected you. Thank you so much for sharing your story, you have made me take a step back in life and savor each moment and to look at the little things in life and realize what is important and not take it for granted.
ReplyDeleteGod bless you, and your family.
I am sure that god will bless you with many more sweet angels, you are more then deserving.
Ashley,
ReplyDeleteI can't help but think of you and Pat every day, and how hard this must be for you. Thank you for sharing your message. It was just what I needed to hear. You are a great mother and will be again, and it sounds like you have already grown soo much from this but I want you to know that we pray for you every day. We love you guys and are soo grateful for your example and strength!
Love,
Sam & Kyle Wescott
Ashley,
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing your testimony. It truly is faith-building to hear women like you, who have been through such sorrow at such a young age, share this with the rest of us. It is strengthening. Truly, you amaze me.
And, the gospel is really true. It is. Heavenly Father loves you and your sweet baby. What a wonderful blessing we have to get to live with our families for eternity.
What a beautiful post! What an absolutely touching picture. I don't know your family, but your story has touched my heart beyond words. I teared up when I read the line about getting home from work, and your kids are on your nerves...I know that scene will play out tonight when I get home. Not my children get on my nerves, but after a long day, and hearing, "Mommy can I have another fruit by the foot?" for the TENTH time, I may loose my patience. Because of reading this, I will try to be a better mother. I know you would give everything you have to hear Preslee ask for another snack or throw another tantrum so tonight I will think about your sweet little girl, and be a better mother. Thank you!
ReplyDeleteWhat a sweet post Ashley. It was really honest and such a true character of you and Patrick. You guys are amazing examples of how to handle a very difficult, sad, and devastating situation. If only everyone could have your attitudes, the world would be a better place. But I know it is still hard and we pray for you guys always. Hopefully you will be blessed with more children soon since you are such great parents! See you soon and love you guys!
ReplyDeleteEverytime I read your blog, my spirit is strengthened. Because every person's pain is unique there is no way for it compare to anyone else's except One. His experience and pain, makes it possible for that and any burden to be lightened. I find comfort in the talk by Elder Holland about Joseph's time in Liberty Jail. If you haven't read it already, it has an amazing message. My prayers are with you,
ReplyDeletelove,
Amanda Joy Petersen
www.joyinthejumble.com
what a beautiful post. I know we are strangers but I can't help but feel a connection to you through our knowledge of the gospel. I think of you and your husband and your little Preslee every day and there is always a prayer in my heart for you. thank you for the amazing example you are setting for all of us, and for sharing your testimony in the most tragic of times. because of you Preslee is having an impact on hundreds, if not thousands of lives. What a beautiful little girl you have.
ReplyDeleteWith love,
Lisa Edler
You guys are wonderful people and I think about you everyday! I cannot imagine what you have gone through and what you still have yet to go through but you are amazing and I'm so grateful for your testimonies. Thank you for the updates and you are in my prayers. Also thank you for reminding me how special it is to be a mommy and I need to be grateful for every moment I have with my children!
ReplyDeleteLove, Jodi Schwartz
Thank you once again for helping me to feel the spirit. It has been a long while since my heart has been touched, I get too caught up in the things of the world and don't take the time I should to try and be thankful for the things that I am blessed with. You and your husband and daughter have such an important roll... you are amazing missionaries and have taught me so much. Thank YOu for sharing your testimony with me and others, it truly has inspired me to do good...
ReplyDeleteThough I have been a member of the church my whole life it wasn't until recently that I have decided to read the Book of Mormon. I have read it here and there but never cover to cover.. Your blog and story has inspired me... I feel that I have the amazing chance to take care of my two little gifts that are on loan from God. He wants me to teach them! That is my roll.. to be a teacher and I cannot do this without knowledge. So thank you little miss Preslee, because of you and your life I will now be teaching my children about the LORD and making more of an effort to feel the Spirit in my home.
May the Lord Bless you with many many more angles.. I know that Preslee is up there with our Savior and all those that have gone before us doing amazing things and watching over her mommy and daddy.
Stay strong Ash! Life is but a blink of an eye and soon you will be back with your little monkey again! Thank you so much for sharing your feelings, they are so inspiring. Keep on sharing because it helps me be a better mom as well.
ReplyDeleteLoves,
Tiffany Cook
Ashley, you continually amaze me. What a strong spirit you are. Thanks for having the courage to share your emotions and at a time like this trying to share the gospel.
ReplyDeleteIt is sooo true and thank you so much for the reminder. And the reminder to make everyday precious with our children and to be more patient with such wonderful little spirits that we all just have on loan. You contunue to be an example to many!What a sweet person to look up to.Thanks again
Marisa
What a beautiful testimony. Thank you for sharing that. I think of and pray for you everyday.
ReplyDeleteIt's like when you go to church, and it's "that one" sacrament meeting that is meant for you... those 3 or 4 talks that seems like they were written for you...
ReplyDeleteThis makes me feel like a brat. :) I was just pouting to myself because my husband just left this morning for a 5 day workshift away from home. And I was thinking how annoying my little rugrats are being today.
So thank you for giving me a little "pat on the back" and making me remember that they won't be little forever. God bless you and your family as your struggle through your hard time. You are in my thoughts and prayers daily.
Cassi Rose
Eastern Washington
Ashley! I can't help but think about you everyday either. You are in my thoughts and prayers and my heart goes out to you. Being a mother is the most amazing gift we have in this life and thank you for being such an example to me and showing me your love and testimony of the church! I look up to you in so many ways! You truly are an angel!
ReplyDeleteI cant get over your guys' strength, its so amazing. I cant even imagine what your going through. But even though I dont know you, I can imagine Preslee up in Heaven watching over you. I think about her everyday. When I look at your blog my 3 and 4 year old girls come look with me and ask if thats the little girl who went to live with heavenly father. I say yes, that she is an angel and is in heaven. Maybe she is playing with her brothers and sisters that havent arrived yet. They think that is great. These are the kind of things that really make you think about life and what you take for granted. I think Preslee was sent here to make people really think about what they have and how fast it can be gone. She is truly an angel. I really admire you guys and thanks so much for posting your story and pictures.
ReplyDeleteYour little angel is still teaching and softening hearts. Thanks for the many things you have taught me over the past while. I have struggled as a mother and reading your blog has put my life into perspective especially as my youngest in just 2 weeks younger than your sweet Preslee. I believe we all have a purpose in this life, and your little Preslee is still fulfilling hers. Thanks for strengthening my testimony. I will forever be grateful. I needed in more now than ever!
ReplyDeleteSincerely,
Amber
I think of your family everyday. I check in on the blog to see how you are doing. We don't know each other, but know that you still are a mother and that you will always be a mother! :) As a stay at home mom I have been getting stressed over my kids' tantrums...but as I read your post it helped me to realize that I do need to cherish every moment with my little ones. We never know what could happen. Thankfully we DO know that we can be Eternal families! You have such a strong testimony and I know that you will continue to be blessed! Love from Montana.
ReplyDeleteI too dont know you or your family but I have been touched by your story. I pray for your family and know, as you know, that our Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ will take care of everything. You have touched my life and your strength is amazing to me. Thank you!
ReplyDeleteHi Ashley and Pat, I don't know you, but came across your blog when my sister in law, Molly Swank Cannon, posted it on her facebook page. The song that she wrote is beautiful, she is so gifted. The story of your little Preslee leaves me speechless. My heart broke wide open while reading about this, and I sobbed. The strength that you two have is immeasurable. How wonderful to have the gospel in your life and to know that you will see your sweet little girl again; the gospel is truly an amazing thing.
ReplyDeleteOh Ashley, you and Patrick are examples of the faith we should all have as we live each and every day here on earth. I hope to someday, if even for a moment, have such faith. I have admired the two of you so much throughout the last few weeks, we all have. My three girls pray for Preslee every single day "to get better and come alive someday", they sing her song and try so hard to get the "Preslee" right on tune. You have changed our family's life forever and I know I'm a better person for knowing you.
ReplyDeleteLove and prayers continue for all of you.
The Lundquist Family
Beautiful and bittersweet. Bless you - bless you HARD!
ReplyDeleteStill prayng for your comfort.
Your story has touched my life. Ever since I first read of your daughters accident, your story stuck out to me because my 4 month old's name is Preslie. Your daughter is gorgeous and amazing and has touched so many people. Thank you for sharing your grief and testimony.
ReplyDeleteAshley,
ReplyDeleteI found your blog from Molly Jackson. I love to read her blog because she was one of the few bloggers and even people I know who lost their first. I lost my first. His name is Kaden. He was 6 months old. In four months it will have been a year since we lost him....literally I can not believe that. it is heartwrenching and amazing we are still living, breathing, and loving life...It is hard. NO DOUBT ABOUT IT! no one persons pain or grief is the same. Grieve and live how you feel is right! I am so sorry you have to join this club...but you're right we come to know Heavenly Father and our Saviour even more through our trials and that is a gift I treasure. You are always welcome to come on over to my blog!! Much love!
Amazing!!! That is what I of when I think of you and Pat. I am going to miss you soooo much when we move. The strength you two show is amazing and the support you give and have given to me through the "BUMPS" I say THANK YOU!!! THANK YOU TO YOU AND PAT FOR ALWAYS HAVING PATIENCE WITH TANNER AND CALLLING HIM YOUR FRIEND.. I HONESTLY THINK PAT WAS HIS FIRST TRUE FRIEND AND YOUR WERE HIS FIRST CRUSH!!!! PRESLEE WAS HIS FIRST KIDDNAPPING EXPERIENCE AND HIS FIRST "BABYSITTING" JOB.. THANK YOU!!! YOU MADE HIM FEEL IMPROTANT AND SPECIAL!! PAT AND YOU WILL ALWAYS HAVE A VERY SPECIAL PLACE IN MY HEART. THANK YOU FOR YOUR FRIENDSHIP. WE LOVE YOU BOTH!
ReplyDeleteWow! I just have to tell you how truly inspirational this blog is. I came across it by a friend of mine. I am amazed by your testimony and strength through all of this. I have a little girl about Preslee's age and to be honest, if anything happened to her right now, I don't know how I would get through each day. You have given people all over inspiration and hope. I don't believe right now that my testimony would be strong enough to carry me through right now.
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry for your loss. I wish you and your family the best and have been thinking about you a lot in the last few weeks. What a great example you and your husband are of members of the great Church!
We love you guys and admire you more that we could ever say. Thanks so much for strengthening our testimonies through your faith. You are both amazing!
ReplyDeleteWhat a strong woman you are!!! I cannot believe your strength through all of this. Even though I share the same faith I just don't know how I would handle such a trial. Isn't the gospel amazing? Where in the world would people with such trials be without this great truth! I pray too that I can be a better mother from hearing your note today. May all of us mothers who get bogged down by our day to day routines be grateful that our little ones are there and that we should never ever take moments for granted. Especially the tantrums!
ReplyDeleteI do not know you personally, but since hearing of your tragic story, I cant help to think of you, Patrick, and sweet baby Preslee EVERY single day! I dont think one day has gone by that I havent thought of you all and shed a tear. As everyone else has stated, you are an inspiration girl! Your faith astounds me. I hope that the Lord allows me to be a witness on that day you and your precious baby girl reunite. I hope I can watch from the sidelines of heaven when your little family embraces once again. Oh what a wonderful day that will be!!!
ReplyDeleteI would also like to share a scripture with you, that made me think of you:
2 Corinthians 12:9-10
But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
Constantly in my thoughts & prayers!
Your Sister in Christ,
Shawna
You are such an inspiration! I can't imagine going through anything like this. I think it is true that the only way anyone could get through an experience like this is by knowing the Savior and having the gospel truths. I pray that the Savior will stay by your side and that you may feel the sweet spirit of little Preslee always.
ReplyDeleteElise
Salem, UT
Thank you for sharing your story. The Gospel is such a strength, and I am so grateful you have such a strong testimony to share with the rest of us! I can't imagine what you are going through. I hope you can welcome many more spirits into your home, you are an amazing woman! And always remember that you are a DAUGHTER OF GOD and that he loves you and is playing and teaching your little Preslee right now.
ReplyDeleteAshley & Patrick -
ReplyDeleteYou are amazing. You inspire me to live my life to the very fullest I can! I have not had the amazing honor of being a mother yet, but I do know that one day I will cherish each and every teeny tiny moment down to the little tantrums just like you, with my own babies. I am looking forward to telling them all about a little pretty princess and daughter of God named Preslee. You and your daughter are such amazing examples.. I have told all of my blogger friends/family all about Preslee's story and even let them know of her beautiful song. Please know so many are thinking of you and Preslee Jo every single day. Your amazing strength to look to God for strength is undescribeable. Our church is one amazing thing and it is comforting knowing that she is in the arms of our Savior and that one day she will again be in your arms. I wish you the very best and will continue to read of your strength and your journey.
Thank you for sharing.
~Linsey, Mitch & Kodie.
What an amazing woman of strength you are. My heart goes out to you and your family. I've been reading your blog and my heart has been touched. Just know that I will be praying for you to continue to hold on to the peace that only Jesus Christ can give to us. Keep on keeping on sister. Little Preslee is watching over you now.
ReplyDeleteashley- i've been thinking about you alot lately. especially in the mornings. you've been such an example to us of faith. we can feel your faith and strength and testimony through your blog posts. you are amazing and i admire your faith. thank you for sharing with us and for helping me to strengthen my own testimony and appreciate our blessings even more. thanks ashley and please know that you are still in our prayers.
ReplyDeleteDear Ashley and Pat, I just want to tell you that I think you both are amazing and your precious little Preslee IS such a special and beautifful little spirit. I am praying for you and for your families. As a mother to a little almost 3 year old girl, Scarlett, myself, I just cannot even begin to imagine the pain or grief that you are going through. I don't think there could be anything harder than losing a child. My parents lost my sister to leukemia when she was almsot 4, so I have an idea-having seen them-how hard it is, but cannot really imagine. I will keep you in my prayers and hope that very soon another little spirit will enter your lives as your child. And someday, you will all be with your little Preslee again, forever. May God bless you and comfort you.
ReplyDeleteMuch love,
Maria
Ashley and Patrick you are in my thoughts constantly. My heart aches for you. I know you will see Preslee again some day. Until then you will forever have her with you in your hearts. May god wrap his loving arms around you and help you through the hard times ahead.
ReplyDeleteYour strength and spirit amaze me. You are truely an inspiration, and Preslee's sweet spirit has forever touched my life. I will continue to pray for you and your family.
ReplyDeleteI want you and Patrick to know that you have been a positive influence on so many that you've never personally met, including me. I have 2 boys, one of whom is autistic and some days I feel completely overwhelmed. Your example of pure faith and perspective has given me strength to handle difficult situations and helped me enjoy the moments more with my kids and increase my patience with them. I want you to know you've helped me to become a better mother, and person because of your testimony and faith. Thank you. The Lord is with you. And Preslee.
ReplyDeleteSo as I'm reading this post, Sophie is sitting on my lap annoying me. She's been on my nerves all day. Then all the sudden she starts getting right in front of my face so I can't read the screen. I move and so does she. Right as I'm about to scold her she grabs my face and gives me the biggest/loudest kiss on the cheek.(thanks Preslee for teaching Sophie how to love.) I had to laugh, since you talked about things like this in your post. I hope I can cherish those "annoying" moments more.
ReplyDeleteYou are truly amazing, thanks for being someone that I can look up to.
This is Sophie saying hi to "Pack, Oush, and Pres" : j,lrjcfdcfkdkmnjdxhdhfgygujfkv
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I hope we can come visit soon. Love you guys!
Ashley and Pat you're so strong! Life is so different with the gospel guiding you. Preslee has impacted so many people in such a short time, thanks again for letting us experience all of this with you!
ReplyDeleteAshley and Pat, I do believe every single word you've said. Your courage, strength and faith in the Living God is inspiring. Yes, He is always faithful. You are in my prayers and daily offerings. I wish you and Pat only the most blessed experience. I am sure that You are and will continue to be a wonderful, God loving and fearing mother and wife.
ReplyDeleteOremus semper
I think of you daily and pray for you always. I can't imagine the pain you feel but admire your trust in the Lord.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for your strength and sharing such a personal experience with so many. I am one of the only members in my circle of family and friends. Your blog and experience has touch so many people in my life and they have come to me asking questions I thought they would never ask. You and Preslee both are two of the most amazing missionaries. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
I am in awe of your strength and faithfulness. I try so hard to break down and let God in, but I get back to the whys. Why would he let something like this happen? Why does he let bad things happen at all, especially to babies/children.
ReplyDeleteSome day I hope to be strong enough to understand and let him in.
Let me first express my condolences. I cannot imagine what you and your families are going through right now. You are in my prayers. I also wanted to say even though your precious Preslee has gone to heaven, you both will ALWAYS be parents. No one can ever take the fact that you loved and lived with Preslee away from you. When your time comes, I know you both will be fabulous and loving parents.
ReplyDeleteThank you Ash! You are such an insiration to me. You will be a great mama again. I appriciate you in so many ways it's incredible.
ReplyDeleteYou both are still in my prayers. Hang in there.
Thank you for sharing your feeling at this incredibly difficult time. Your testimony is inspiring! May you continue to feel comfort and peace.
ReplyDeleteI have been wanting to leave a comment for a while but couldn't get up the courage. Our beautiful two year old grand daughter Kamberlie passed away two years ago on July 25th after she fell into the family pool. It has been the hardest trial our family has endured, but the most spiritual. We are so sorry for your loss and know what you are going through. We have prayed for you and know our Heavenly Father is aware of you and sending angels to comfort you. We know there are many families who have lost children at a young age. We have comfort in our belief that they dwell with our Heavenly Father and His son Jesus Christ. We are trying hard to be worthy to see her again as we know you are. Love, The Larsen Family
ReplyDeleteAshley and Pat--You are beautiful to me...in so many ways. Your presence is breathtaking as you embrace at your babes grave. And Ashley...Exodus3:5...you surely walked on holy ground. You are so beautiful, admirable, and breathtaking--as I said! Falling to my knees moment to moment--sometimes not even 5 minutes after my last prayer upon my knees--was the only way I made it through. I felt my baby close to me, I felt the Lord and His loving embrace, and I can see and hear that you feel it too! It is amazing. Where much is given, much is required, right? You were given an angel...and you now suffer so deep, but all is well...all is well. I love you!
ReplyDeletePat & Ashley,
ReplyDeleteYou guys are awesome! You have definitely been in our prayers...I don't know how you do it, but you truly are inspirational to so many people who need your example, including me. I wish I had the words to make your pain go away, but you are right it is simply through the gospel that you will receive the comfort you need. You are so blessed to have your sweet little Preslee forever. It is clear that she is a valiant spirit that the Lord needs. She is lucky to have parents like you!
Love,
Terrik and Chelsea Watt
Ashley,
ReplyDeleteYou are truly remarkable and inspiring! I was deeply touched by your post and thank you for sharing your testimony. My testimony has grown from simply hearing yours.
You and your family are constantly in our thoughts and prayers.
Love,
Ty and Laura Sommer
I so appreciate your thoughts. I have taken time ever since first happening up on your blog right after the accident to love on my children more. Especially on days like today when it was so easy to get frustrated, I stopped, took a deep breath, hugged them tight and said "I love you" because we don't know what tomorrow holds. Your family is never far from my mind; I have no idea why your story has impacted me so much, but it has, and each time I read it, my heart hurts for you as a mother and a wife. I will continue to pray for your family daily.
ReplyDeleteAshley I wanted you to know that you and Patrick are in our prayers you have such a strong testimony of the gospel and reading your blog strengthens my testimony.
ReplyDeleteDear Sullengers,
ReplyDeleteThank you for this post. I needed to remember today how strong the Spirit is in those fresh weeks and months helping you through. I am so glad you wrote about it and so beautifully. It reminds me how I felt. It helped me today to feel that help again.
You will treasure your next child even more than you could have imagined it was possible. We got pregnant 6 weeks after Camille died. I was never more baby hungry than the day we left the hospital after she died. My little boy is now just a few weeks older than Camille was when she died. And it is so replenishing and healing to hold him and love on him double for them both.
Sending you love today and in all the coming days and nights.
Stephanie Waite
I have followed your blog for a while now. Your strength and testimony amaze me. I know you will see Preslee again and you will get to hold and raise her. For now, you have a special angel watching over you. Preslee was lucky to have you as parent's. My prayers will continue to be with you. May God bless you and may the spirit comfort you.
ReplyDeleteVery beautifully written. It is nearly 19 years since my daughter Ashleigh passed away and it is the hardest thing that I've ever experienced... but I have also been richly blessed. I know the Lord will continue to bless you.
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry for your loss. Ever since I have read your blog your family has been in my mind.I also have a angel up in heaven waiting for me.
ReplyDeleteMy heart goes out to you both. I also lost my son who was 4 . He drowned behind our house. He loved playing in the creek and he got out of the fence and him and his sister wanted to break the ice and both fell through. My daughter Jenne survived but James did not make it. He is in heaven. We all are working hard to make it to heaven so we can be with him. We miss him so dearly.
ReplyDeleteHi there, you don't know me, but I have a daughter almost exactly the same age as your sweet Preslee. In fact, many of the pictures you have of Preslee, I have almost replicas of my Pyper. I admire you and your husband so much, and I know no one can possibly say anything to even ease the pain you must be feeling, but you have clearly changed lives through sharing your experiences. You must be very special people, who will surely be blessed with another special spirit with a very special mission. My heart is breaking for you and I pray for you to be comforted at this sacred time. I thank God for the gift of his Son and the atonement which allows us to have the comfort we do through the gospel of Jesus Christ. I am sending my love to you and yours tonight.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for sharing your story and your testimony as you experience this. Your example and your faith is more inspiring than you can even imagine.
ReplyDeleteYou guys are truly such great examples of faith and courage and your testimony of the gospel is incredible!! We think about you guys every day and pray for you to be comforted at this difficult time. I know the gospel is true and because of that you will be able to see your sweet Preslee again some day. (Isn't that wonderful?!) For now you are lucky enough to have that dear little angel watching over you!! You have deffinatly inspired me to be a better mom and not take one single moment with my kids for granted (even when they're fighting and crying at my feet and i'm on my last ounce of patience) and for that i thank you!! Thank you for sharing your story and your feelings, it has made a deffinate impact for good on our lives!! We love you guys!!
ReplyDeleteMark and Summer Mortensen
As I have been going through the fun memories and frustrating days of "summer break" and wishing a little for school to start again . . . because of you I am reminded to hold every moment of every day close . . . we never know when Heavenly Father needs and will call our precious (His precious) children home. I am humbled that you are sharing this amazingly painful time with us all, to help us, our families, our testimonies and understanding of God's plan for each of us. Preslee was truly blessed to have such great parents here on Earth, even if only for a short time.
ReplyDeleteLove,Prayers and Blessings . . . Jody
Thank you Ashley and Pat!!! I have been reading the book, "I need thee Every Hour" applying the atonement in everyday life!!!! It is amazing and one that I would love to suggest reading! I still pray nightly that your are comforted and what a great feeling that is! The Savior is Amazing and he knows us so well, I am thankful for him and all that he blesses us with in our lives and for letting us reach out to those Brothers and sisters who we knew so well in the life before but have been separated in this life, yet are still able to find each other and help each other in our most heart wrenching trials, I hope you know how very much you are loved and mean to me, thank you for showing me Christ like love and service, you are both amazing, I love you
ReplyDeleteTifani
You are a wonderful lady - God bless you! Thank you for sharing with us. I think of your family often and you really do help me remember what's important. -Audra
ReplyDeleteYour family is inspiring me in what seems a difficult time in my life, until I consider yours. My little girls will see more patience from me today, because of you and Preslee. I am so very sorry for your incredible loss.
ReplyDeleteI too have a child in Heaven. Our oldest son had medical issues in utero and was stillborn at 28 weeks 5 days. That was 5 1/2 years ago and still we miss him every day. We have 2 living children, a son and a daughter, and we love them dearly. We are always on edge around water as my in-laws have a pool and a lakehouse. We take many precautions but the threat of drowning is still very real to us. I can't find details about Preslee's accident anywhere on your blog--maybe I am missing something. Maybe you haven't wanted to share it. If you feel one day that you can I would be interested in reading about it. I don't know you and you don't know me but we both know the pain of the loss of our children and I have cried for your loss for 2 days now. Of the many lessons you now have to share from Preslee's life is there also a lesson in something I need to know to protect my children from drowning? I will check back on your blog to check on you.
ReplyDeleteJohn 3:16
You truly amaze me every time I read updates on your blog. You have showed so much faith and it has helped me become a better person. I think about you everyday and want you to know you are still in my thoughts and prayers. thanks for being so amazing, love you
ReplyDeleteOh my. Your courage and strength seems nearly unfathomable during such a difficult time, and yet, you are right- standing next to Heavenly Father and allowing Him to literally hold us up during tough times is what makes it possible. And what an amazing person you are Ashley for recognizing that and for witnessing to others! (I sincerely hope you realize just how special of a human-being you are!) Preslee was SO lucky to have you as HER mama and you WILL see her again.
ReplyDeleteIn the meantime, I wish you God's peace and the opportunity to snuggle Preslee's sibling in the very near future.
Thank you for sharing.
Thank you so much! Preslee is a missionary on the other side of veil and you are missionaries here. The gospel has changed our whole family as well. We had a son at Primary Children's, our family has lost loved ones both spiritually and physically and the only comfort that got us through these things was the gospel and the promises God makes to his faithful servants. I will always try to be a better mother because of your story.
ReplyDeleteI remember that hurt all too well. My first baby passed away at 3 1/2 months. I was jealous of every stroller, diaper bag, and mother holding a crying baby at the back of church. I was jealous of pregnant women. I was angry at people who complained about their children (still feel this one often). It is true, taking life minute by minute, and relying on the knowledge of the plan of salvation, is what got me through most of those times.
ReplyDeleteHaving another baby was incredibly healing. I was not searching for a replacement, I NEEDED a baby. And I know the little boy who came along was here to help our family heal. I am definitely more anxious as a mother now, but I also have such a deep connection with and appreciation for my two boys. Losing a baby is indescribably painful. But when you have experienced that pain, you are also that much more capable to love.
I'll continue saying prayers for you.
Hi Ashley,
ReplyDeleteI dont know you but I know I love you. I wanted to email you a personal email but cant find your email address. Maybe someday if you find time will you email me. I want to talk to you. I lost my daughter 7 months ago. This pain is unreal. Im praying for you. Im sorry. Your Preslee is so beautiful, so amazing. Even going through it now, I dont know what to say. I dont know what I want others to say to me. If you ever want to talk you can email me. kendogg1987@hotmail.com. It sounds like you have some amazing support. Thats so important. Take one breath at a time.
Love Kendra Webster
I think of your family often. You continue to be in our prayers. I want to thank you for inspiring me to be a better mother and a better person. You and Pat are true examples of our Savior. My testimony has strengthened because of you. Not only are you SO LUCKY to have such a BEAUTIFUL little girl, little Preslee is SO LUCKY to have you for parents.
ReplyDeleteMegan
Wow Ashley you amaze me! I have said this several times already and I am not sure if you will even see this but you guys have changed me and my family for the better, you have made me realize what I need to do to be able to live with my family after this life! You are really an amazing woman and pat is an amazing man! If I can be half as strong as you in what I do in life I think I will be great! I love you guys for helping me out! I will be here to help anytime you need someone! May God continue to be with you!
ReplyDeleteI hope you realize what an amazing person you are, Ashley. Not only has your little girl changed me, but YOU and your testimony and strength have forever made me a better person. My two children will have a more patient, loving, kind mother because of you and your sweet family. I am already a member of the LDS church, but my testimony and strength are nowhere near yours. I want to thank you for reminding me what is important, and for being such a wonderful example. There is a reason our Heavenly Father chose you and Patrick to be Preslee's parents. You are a very, very special family - the missionary work that has been done by you guys this past few weeks is incredible. I hope you realize the way YOU have impacted lives. What a special mother and woman you are!
ReplyDeleteYou are so right!! With God and the Bible, we can get through anything!! As everyone has said - you are such an inspiration - we will keep you in our prayers Ashley. Thank you so much for sharing your very very personal feelings!!!
ReplyDeleteI have read through the posts on your blog several times because I feel the spirit so strongly as I read your words. They are so honest & so humble. We are so lucky to have the knowledge of the Gospel of Jesus Christ to help give us the strength we need. What an amazing character you have reaching out to others continuing the missionary work that was started by little Preslee.
ReplyDeleteI struggled for many years to have children and I couldn't understand why I longed for something that was not meant to be. I was led to a scripture that helped me through that.
Proverbs 3:5-6
Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.
In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.
We aren't always given the understanding we seek, but when we trust in the Lord with all our hearts we are given that which is needed. Your family will continue to be in my thoughts and prayers. May God continue to hold you tight as you endure.
My wife and I were looking at pictures of the funeral last night and we love the image portrayed by the one you chose for the top of this post. It immediately made me think of a quote from the LDS movie "Charly". "Earth's primmed with Heaven, and every common bush a fire with God. But only he who sees, takes off his shoes". I looked up the scripture about Moses as my wife and I talked about and got teary eyed thinking about that moment. It is so beautiful how you had the reverence to take off your shoes. You truly walk on holy ground. We have felt the spirit very strong as we have visited the grave of our Baby Shane. I have fond memories of leaving that sight with a prayer on bended knees. I miss being able to visit as we are now more than halfway across the country. It is a hard way to come to know The Man of Sorrows, but one in which you have and will gain a better understanding and testimony. It will give you an opportunity to come to know Him better. I love seeing you share the gospel. It still amazes me how these angels can touch so many lives and move the work of the Lord forward in ways that you would have never imagined. I have felt in a small part what it must have been like for our Heavenly Father to send His Son to come and die for us. Hang in there. You can overcome all with the Lord, even if it is minute by minute. The fact that you had a mind to take off your shoes before walking on sacred ground, tells me that you are very close to the spirit; to God. Thank you for your example and for continuing to share your story with honesty. I can feel your faith, and know of your sorrows. We love your sweet family and continue to pray for you!
ReplyDeleteYou and Patrick are truly amazing people. Heavenly Father is blessing you so much. Thank you for sharing that with us.
ReplyDeleteI found your blog through another blog I have been following (adailyscoop). I have been thinking of you and praying for your family for awhile now. Your posts have uplifted me, and helped me better prioritize and deal with daily life as I raise my 5 sons. I love the photo of you and your husband at the graveside. Although I know you must be consumed by your grief in that moment, I can physically see the peace in you face. I know this kind of peace and comfort can only come from our Heavenly Father. It has been such a testimony builder to witness your experiences from afar and see the Lord's hand in things. I will continue to pray for your peace and comfort. I was delighted by the video clip with the fan. Such a beautiful baby. We lost our niece 21 months ago, and I find great strength in reading about others who are now living their lives with renewed focus on eternal families and awaiting the sweet reunion with our little ones. Take care. Know you are loved and thought about and prayed for. Thank you for your strength and example.
ReplyDeleteI can only pray that if I were to face such a trial as yours that I might be able to exhibit such faith and strength and hope as you have. God bless you and your husband, and all of your family as you push forward...as the many diligent saints before you.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for sharing your testimony!! I feel the spirit so stongly everytime I read one of your posts!! I hope that those who are reading your story can feel it too! I'm sorry you both had to go thru this and that others have to do it too. I know there is a plan for each of us and if we just hold on we will make it with the help that is there for us. I hope you are blessed with more children... you seem to have so much to give!! I hug my little ones a little tighter each night just thinking about you!! You will always be in my thoughts and prayers.... eventhough we don't even know each other... it comes from one Mother to another!!
ReplyDeleteSo hard to find words...my heart goes out to you, as will my prayers!
ReplyDeleteWow you are so amazing! I can feel your spirit. You are so strong! I just wanted to tell you thank you for reminding me to take time and patience with my three young children. When you said you miss the tantrums in public or at the end of the day your nerves being shot! I have a five year old, three year old and five month old and lately at the end of the day I have had enough but you made me realize what else would I want to be doing except being a mom. So thank you and you are in our prayers. I am the oldest child in my family and my mom lost our fourth sibling at birth and we have always had a special angel for our family. Now you have a VERY special angel watching over you. She is beautiful.
ReplyDeletePat and Ashley
ReplyDeleteSo sorry for your loss. I have been inspired by your strength and your testimony. I am recommitting to be a better wife and mother. Thank you for your strength.
I just heard of the loss of your daughter. My heart goes out to you and your husband. We are praying for your family. How blessed you are to have the Gospel of Jesus Christ. May the Lord bless you with peace. I am so very sorry.
ReplyDeleteI have left a few messages on your blog, but you don't know me. But I wanted to let you know that you are a true inspiration. I know, I don't know what it is like to lose a child, but I do know what it is like to want and not have a child. People ask me all of the time, how I coupe with not having them. I just say to those people, it might not be in this lifetime, but I know I will be a mother someday, in the after life. My faith in Heavenly Father and my Savior has helped me with this test, and I know, that he is helping you. Thank you for sharing your story so more people can hear the gospel. Little Preslee is a missionary as well as you and Pat. Thanks for being an inspiration to me and I hope soon you will have your other prayers answered about having another sweet spirit enter into your loving home.
ReplyDelete"The future is as bright as your faith". Thomas S. Monson
ReplyDeleteThe Church is True!
Best Wishes,
A friend in Montana
I think about you and your husband and sweet Preslee every single day. When I go through the mundane tasks of daily life and my patience is running low, I think of you. I think of your strong testimony. I think of what a priviledge it was and is to be the parents of a perfect little spirit! I read over the comments people have left for you guys and can't help but smile and feel the spirit. The amount of people and lives that your precious Preslee has touched and changed is amazing!! I too, cry when I see pictures of her sometimes and I didn't even know her. What a blessing to have her a part of your lives. To be sealed together as a family forever! Thank you so much for continuing each day to amaze me with your strength and love of the gospel. It is so inspiring. I too, look up to you as a role model of what a mom should be. You and your family are in our prayers daily. May you feel some peace and comfort during this difficult time.
ReplyDeleteThe Leeds Family
Scott Mckell is a friend of mine and told me of your loss today. I am so so sorry. I lost my oldest at 22 months from a tragedy as well. He fell from a second story window. He was the light of my life and the love of my heart. It just pains me to know what you are experiencing. We have a group in UT that gets together every so often to talk about grief and the 'new club' we belong too. We also have an angel blog where only those who have lost children can read and contribute. It's a safe place to share your sorrows. Let me know if you would like to be part of either of those things and I would be happy to talk with you if you ever need someone who understands. Preslee is gorgeous and your words are inspirational.
ReplyDeleteLove,
Michelle
Ash, Thanks for this last post. I sure love you.
ReplyDeleteDeborah Sare
I am just sitting here crying so hard for you. My little boy is sitting next to me, not quite understanding why, but enough. Our hearts ache for you. Your words touched me so deeply. I can not imagine a singe day without my little ones. And, I am sure that now words written by me can bring your comfort, but I think you are amazing. I KNOW that Heavenly Father loves you and trusted you so much. Preslee was a true Angel on earth...brought here for a reason. Reasons unknown until later on in our lives. God trusted you with that Angel because you are such amazingly strong people. I will continue to pray for you and your family. God will bless you!! Thank you for your words and your strength. Love, Michelle Tanner
ReplyDeleteThis may seem odd, you don't know me. A friend of mine mentioned your blog on hers and I was intrigued. I read through almost all of your blog and am amazed at the strength you two have. You are an inspiration to me. I cannot imagine the pain that comes with going through a situation like this. You are in our prayers. I am so sorry for your loss, but so happy for your faith and knowledge that families can be together forever.
ReplyDeleteSincerely, Kati Wyatt
I know you don't know me. I have been in your situation before with a child in the NICU, PICU and various stays at Primary's. My little boy has beat the odds so many times. Reading your blog has helped me keep perspective with my life too. It is such an eye opening experience when you have a child born with so many problems that is able to beat the odds. I was amazed at your strength. I know it takes a lot to try to keep things together and know that CHrist will take our burdens if you let him. Thanks for your example and faith. You are always in my thoughts and prayers.
ReplyDeleteLove,
Desiree Carlisle
I am amazed by your strength and courage to get through this difficult time. God bless!
ReplyDeleteI am truly amazed by your strength during this difficult time. God bless!
ReplyDeleteYou don't know me, but I came across your blog today. I am truly inspired by your strength and love for eachother and your precious angel. I have a daughter just about 2 months younger, and just imagining what you two are going through makes me cry. You are so lucky to have known such a sweet princess, even for a short while. I'm happy to know you will see her again, where she will be able to run to you and call you mommy and daddy once again. God Bless you and your family during this tragic time.
ReplyDeleteLove,
The Pratt Family
Dear Patrick and Ashley,
ReplyDeleteWhat a story you have, I am a stranger, but I am praying for you.
I am compelled to share with you that in Christ's death for us he has completely and finally paid for our sins, leaving it to God's grace alone that we may be saved. Ephesians 2:7-9 states, "7in order that in the coming ages he might show the incomparable riches of his grace, expressed in his kindness to us in Christ Jesus. 8For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— 9not by works, so that no one can boast."
I encourage you to seek after the one true God, the ultimate Deliverer. We have nothing to offer Him, yet His arms are open to us, cleansing us of all sins. Believe in Him and you will have everlasting life, a life in heaven where indeed you will see your little one again.
Ashley,
ReplyDeleteYou are a powerful mother! I have always admired you. my admiration has grown so much seeing you conquering this trial. You, Pat, and Pres have strengthened my testimony. Keep Going! thank you!
MeriBeth
you WILL be a better mother because of this experience...as odd as it seems, it is truth. i lost my daughter 19 years ago and i could not have been half the mother that i am today to my three kids without having lost her. God bless you all <3
ReplyDeleteHi Ashley-
ReplyDeleteI have thought of you and your husband countless times over the last couple of weeks. My heart hurts for you both. When I taught you in Young Womens (I think you were a Miamaid) I could never have imagined that life would bring such trials to you. You had a strong and vibrant testimony of the gospel and Jesus Christ then, and it sounds like it is being strengthened even in your sorrow. You are the teacher now, and I am learning to appreciate being a mother and savoring the little moments more. Thank you! You are in my prayers.
Love- Jennifer Claunch
Ashley-
ReplyDeleteI came across your blog from some friends blogs and found myself crying at your sorrow, but also felt so close to the Holy Spirit because of your strength. I don't know you or your family, but I am so sorry for your loss. I have an 8 month old who was born with a unkown heart defect, was lifeflighted to Primary's and had emergency heart surgery at 10 hours old-he was touch and go for quite a while. In that sense I can honestly say I almost know how you feel, because I came so close to losing my first child. He is know doing well-but will need more heart surgeries. I know that God is so amazing and that he gives us strength and by his grace I am saved--I pray for you and hope that you find peace and know that you will spend eternity with your angel. If you would like to read our story please email me
kristing23@gmail.com and I will add you as we are private.
God Bless-
Kristin
I send you and Patrick my deepest love and wishes for all to be well. It will and I know that you know that. My sweet daughter left mortality to return to our Father in Heaven 18 days before her 18th birthday. I miss her terribly every single day. The days, weeks and months after her auto accident were the times I felt closer to God than ever before in my life. The day we buried Britt my husband of 22 years informed me that when we moved from our home of 21 years the following week he wouldn't be coming. He had another home. I had never felt more alone before or since. Falling to my knees throughout the day and asking for strength got me through the next hour, day, week, months and years. You have such lovely memories of Preslee and I thank you for sharing your little angel with all your readers.
ReplyDeleteMy mother heart just breaks for you. I can't even imagine. When you say that prayer lifts the burden off your shoulders, it brings to mind the scriptures when Christ invites us to "take my yoke upon you."
ReplyDeleteDo you know how a yoke works?
No two yokes are alike. Each one is made to perfectly fit the person or animal using it, and as the person or animal grows and strengthens, the yoke must be remade.
In the case of a burden that is very heavy and must be carried by two individuals, the yoke is first made to fit the strongest of the two so that the heaviest part of the burden is not unduly put upon the weaker one.
As the weaker of the two becomes stronger, the yoke is remade once again...
And so it goes with turning to the Lord in our times of sorrow and difficulty. His yoke is easy, and the burden is light through the miracle of the Atonement.
Thank you for sharing your feelings about slowing down with the children. I needed that counsel.
Much love to you both as you wait to be with little Pressly again.
I really liked your blog! It helped me alot… Awesome. Exactly what I was looking for. Thanks!
ReplyDeleteMy site is about [url=http://www.depressionsymptomsmedication.com]Depression and anxiety[/url].